EDDIE CATZ BLOG

Parents and public toilets – The shameful truth

Parents and public toilets – The shameful truth

If you think George Michael is a menace in public toilets then think again, parents are far worse.
One thing people don’t tell you before you become a parent is that for the next few years the funniest thing you can say is the word poo.
Another thing they don’t tell you is what happens to your sense of dignity when it comes to using public toilets.
Before I had children I avoided public toilets like the plague. It might have something to do with not actually wanting to catch the plague or the fact that not even Marks and Spencer’s can maintain a suitably clean and pleasant washroom. With my first pregnancy I didn’t have the luxury of being so picky and so my eyes were opened to a world I have never really been exposed to before.

What I didn’t realise then whilst I was spraying seats with my handbag sanitizer was what was to come once the children arrived.
I’m sure places like play centres and child friendly restaurants work overtime to keep their toilets clean but they are fighting a loosing battle against parents and their horrible children.

A few weeks ago the NCT girls and I we were discussing poo and exploding nappies over coffee. Just another normal Tuesday morning then! The conversation moved on to how some parents behave in the toilets of baby and child friendly cafés like the one we were in.
I’ve picked out a couple of the best stories to share with you.

public toilets
Potty Training in Public

It’s always baffled me why women feel the need to take boys into the gents and even more so when they are surprised when there’s a man in their doing his business.
Some aren’t too fazed by this though.
One girl’s husband was using the gents and in came a woman with her son. It was clear her son wasn’t moving on well with his potty training so SuperMum decided that this was the perfect time and place to give him some guidance.
“Look Riley, see how that man is holding his willy, that’s how you want to do it.”

Why Wait?

The problem with a lot of these places is that there’s only ever a couple of cubicles and if you’ve committed to potty training then you know the little ones won’t wait.
Last week one of the girls walked into the bathroom to find another woman hanging her son over the washing basin doing his business. She then pulled up his pants, ran the tap for a couple of seconds, said nothing and walked out.

Cheerleaders

Cheerleading from outside the cubicle always makes me laugh and men are the worst at it as for some reason they don’t want to go in there with their child.
Here’s one example of cubical cheerleading.
“Daddy my poo is stuck”
“Just keep pushing”
“It’s too big daddy, I need help”
“Just keep pushing”
“But Daddy…….”
“Just keep pushing”

Lactation Rooms

Fair enough if you’re going to the tennis then perhaps that isn’t the best place to be breast feeding but I don’t understand women who feel the need to run and hide. If you’re shy about it then use one of those silly capes but every week it seems that some new mum is spending 45 minutes locked in the baby changing room breast feeding.
I would sooner let the NCT gods strike me down with thunder because I used a bottle rather than breastfeed in a toilet.

My Son the overachiever 

Parents who believe their sons when they ask the question “Are you going to be alright going on your own?”
“Yes mummy, the last thing I’m going to do is walk around the toilet weeing all over the floor, on people’s shoes and eventually all over myself. You should relax and enjoy your skinny latte, I’m a big boy now.”

There can be only one!

My last complaint is large chain cafes that only have ONE toilet. Not one toilet for Ladies and one for the gents, just one toilet. This is especially frustrating when you are dealing with the enviable exploding nappy which happens just as you sit down with your Chai Latte and blueberry muffin.
Last week this exact thing happened to me and out of sheer luck there was no queue at the ONE toilet. I’ll spare you the details but mid change someone started knocking on the door. Feeling a little frustrated I shouted back “Busy!” Then they knocked again and I replied with a few expletives.
THEN they knocked AGAIN!
I swung open and like a crazy women shouting rather unladylike words whilst hanging onto a half dress baby only to be faced with a disabled gentlemen in a wheelchair……thank you Caffe Nero for that experience.

A very yummy mummy

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